'Tis the Season:  that special time of year when we gather to share tidings of comfort and joy with those we hold most dear -- like our bosses and co-workers.

WHOA!  Hold On Blitzen!  Call me Grinch, but I'm not one to brim with joy in anticipation of the annual office holiday party. I have enough trouble getting through the precious family gatherings unscathed -- but at least the love provides an enduring bond. Spreading cheer with those to whom I'm bonded solely by work does much less to jingle my bells. Still, lest I want my chestnuts roasted on an open fire, I know I better be good, I better not pout, I better just go to the party.

And you should too, because if you forego this celebration of the season, you're apt to feel the political frost nipping at your nose well into the New Year. Attendance at holiday gatherings is important to your reputation and to the perception others have of you -- as an employee, as a team member and as a leader. Career success doesn't come from just doing your job well. It grows from cultivating a strong network of relationships along the way. Holiday parties offer an excellent opportunity to display your unique gifts.

How can you make sure your presence enhances, or at least preserves, your professional standing and potential for career growth? Is this just pure and simple "politics?” Or worse yet, "brown-nosing?"

To the contrary, Rudolph advanced to a leadership position because his nose was "bright," making him stand out amongst his lesser "brown-nosed" cohorts. Here’s what you need to know to shine brightly at your office holiday party:

Be Good, for Goodness Sake

Although the holiday party is intended as a social gathering, it is founded on an unwritten agreement that says, "If you do this work, we will pay you "x" amount of dollars.” Ask yourself: "Would I choose to be with these people if I didn't work with them?” If the answer is "no," then be careful what you say. Try humming "Silent Night" to serve as a reminder to keep your mouth shut.

Office party conversation frequently reverts to "shop talk" (what else do you have to talk about?) and herein lies the danger. Shop talk tends more toward naughty than nice (especially when fueled by alcohol). Contributing to this type of chatter puts you at risk of stepping on turf, crossing sensitive boundaries and otherwise driving your sleigh into a snow bank. Your jolly commentary will evolve into tomorrow's shop talk. So be friendly, but keep a professional distance. You’ll garner respect as you bid "to all a good night."

It's Not About the Food

Office holiday parties are abundant with food and beverages, but the purpose is decidedly far greater than eating and drinking. The intent is to express gratitude, generosity and goodwill to you, as a gracious "guest.” If you choose to see it as an opportunity to chow down at your company's expense, you'll be missing the point.  Scarfing down shrimp while swilling down the free beer is not likely to put you in the best light. When the conversation turns to work issues -- and it will -- the splat of cocktail sauce on your shirt will certainly diminish your credibility.

Play it wise -- eat before you go to the party. Let your less savvy co-workers dive into the festive holiday fare, while you use your time to build acquaintances with others. Ask about their families, their backgrounds, their holiday plans. Most people like talking much more than listening anyway, so your questions will make them feel more positive toward you -- and you'll be perceived as a great conversationalist. If you feel you must eat something, try the fruitcake. No one else will -- and this simple gesture will show that you're not afraid to take risks!

Although many employers now limit or restrict alcoholic beverages (for obvious reasons), they may still be available. If you do partake, limit yourself to one drink, and then shift to soda or water. Over-indulgence may elevate you to "life of the party" status, but it can spell the "death of your career.” Back in the office, as opportunities arise for someone to represent your organization at important business functions, it won't be you. You’ll be relegated to winter never land.

Give Unto Others As You Would Have Them Give Unto You

Holiday parties inspire thoughtful gestures, like gift giving. We've all been taught, "it's the thought that counts." But at work, the gift speaks louder. Use good judgment. Don’t bring a gift that you wouldn't be happy to receive yourself. Funny gag gifts may spur short-term laughs, but they do little to enhance working relationships. Don’t allow others to become the butt of jokes. Work egos can be very fragile.

Sometimes you'll be required to buy a gift for another co-worker whose name you pulled from a hat. This can get touchy. Years ago, I drew the name of a guy named Fred who worked in finance. I knew very little about Fred's likes and interests -- and, as I quickly learned, neither did anyone else. Playing it safe, I bought him a fruitcake. When the time came to open it, Fred quickly misinterpreted my intentions and went berserk (thereby confirming the appropriateness of my gift, but setting the stage for a difficult relationship with the finance department over the next two years).

The Yankee Swap, where everyone brings an inexpensive, gender-neutral, non-descript gift, is a variation on the gift exchange theme. Instead of drawing names, each person draws a number. Then, in numerical order, everyone takes a turn opening a gift, which can be kept or traded away to someone who has a "better" gift. If you watch the faces of others as gifts are opened, you can easily identify who brought what. The potential to offend the original gift-giver is enormous, so from a purely political point of view, it's best to just graciously keep whatever gift you open. Leaving with the best gift is not a worthy objective.

Nothing Says "Happy Holidays" Quite Like a Fruitcake

It's hard to believe, but some people actually like fruitcake. According to the Society for the Protection and Preservation of Fruitcake (yes, it's true), the fruitcake, though much maligned and the butt of many jokes, has been esteemed by many, and remains an important part of many folks' holiday tradition and ritual.

I suppose it's only fitting that the fruitcake be a perennial symbol of the season. Much like the office holiday party, it's made up of a concoction of diverse and disparate elements, all thrown together and displayed as one cohesive unit. Some of the ingredients are cause to rejoice -- others give reason to revolt. But the fruitcake endures -- well beyond the celebrations.

There's a movement underway by the Fruitcake Protection Initiative, to put fruitcake back on the holiday map. With such spiritual fervor, I'm sure we can expect to see the fruitcake preserved for many years to come. Certainly, it will make a showing at next year's office holiday party. The question is: "Will you?"

© 2002, Career Planning and Management, Inc., Boston, MA.  All rights reserved.