As
many in the workforce go to great lengths to keep their jobs, many
others are longing for layoff. They are the "unhappily
employed," people who've survived months, even years, toiling
at jobs that provide little personal pleasure beyond a paycheck.
They yearn for new and exciting work to wake up to every day, but
they have little time to satisfy such urges.
It's
called "layoff lust," i.e. the strong desire to be laid
off from one's job. Burdened by unfulfilling work, the layoff
lusters long to get lucky, to be sent away with a severance
package, providing time at last to pursue their passions.
But
for now, they're biding their time, suppressing their desires,
waiting for the axe to fall, fantasizing about what it would be
like to work elsewhere. They occasionally flirt with other job
prospects, but seldom get past first base. They’re stuck in the
safety and security of work without love.
Seducing
the Terminator
Losing
your job ought to be easy. “Just say no" to any new work
assignments. Try showing up late, showing up drunk, showing up
your boss -- or try showing too much, maybe with your own
strategically-implemented "wardrobe malfunction.” If
nothing else, people will remember you.
But
be careful your plan doesn't backfire. Doing your job poorly can
sometimes lead to advancement and promotion -- and doing your job
well can get you canned. Just look at all the people who have lost
their jobs despite peak performance.
So,
if you want to achieve termination with a big financial payoff,
you'll need to convince your boss that paying you to leave is a
worthy investment. The cost of keeping you must be greater than
the cost of letting you go.
There
is nothing sexy about unemployment, so make sure you have adequate
financial resources before plotting your break-up. A layoff does
not automatically guarantee a financial settlement. On average,
severance packages equate to two weeks of pay for each year of
service, but there are wide variations from company to company.
Find out how previous layoffs and terminations have been handled
at your company. If your organization doesn't have a written
severance policy, it may have some precedents to steer you.
Developing
Your Proposition
To
negotiate an amicable split, you'll need to tempt your boss with
an appealing proposition, but it must be a win-win affair. The
advantages for you are obvious, but make sure it's good for your
employer too.
Explore
alternate ways for fulfilling your responsibilities, perhaps by
consolidating tasks or transferring your assignments to other
staff members. Eliminate activities that do not positively impact
revenue -- and be sure to factor in the gains of freeing up your
office space (and computer) for someone else to use. Also consider
the tax implications, benefits and worker's compensation costs.
Severance pay may be more cost-effective than continuing to
support you indefinitely.
Exploring
Your Fantasies
Until
you have a career strategy in place, you're not ready to make your
move. You don't make good career decisions by getting away from a
bad situation -- you make them by moving toward a good situation.
Take
time to define your dream job -- one you want to wake up to in the
morning. Identify what you desire above and beyond a paycheck --
independence, creativity, learning? Solicit information about
career areas of interest. Engage a career counselor or coach, read
career books and articles or gather suggestions from friends and
colleagues. If you don't know what you want to do, you may just
end up in another bad work relationship.
When
you're ready, slip your written proposal to your boss. Volunteer
to be laid-off, but don't make it sound like a resignation. Take
the high road. Let your actions appear to be in the interest of
the company's current fiscal situation as well as your long-term
career aspirations. Ask him/her to read your proposal and set a
time to discuss it with you.
With
a little planning, you can achieve the kind of work life you've
only dreamed about. Sure, this all may sound a little risky (or
risqué), but there is excitement in danger. Pablo Picasso once
said, "It is your work in life that is the ultimate
seduction.” He knew what it was like to be in love with his
work. You can too -- if you let your passions guide you.
©
2004, Career Planning and Management, Inc., Boston,
MA. All rights reserved.
